Calliope Auditions: Over the River and Through the Woods
a comedy by Joe DiPietro
Nick is a single, Italian-American guy from New Jersey. His parents retired and moved to Florida, but that doesn’t mean his family isn’t still in Jersey. In fact, he sees both sets of his grandparents every Sunday for dinner. This is routine until he has to tell them that he’s been offered a dream job. The job he’s been waiting for – marketing executive – would take him away from his beloved, but annoying, grandparents. He tells them. The news doesn’t sit so well. Thus begins a series of schemes to keep Nick around. How could he betray his family’s love to move to Seattle, for a job? Well, Frank, Aida, Nunzio and Emma do their level best, and that includes bringing to dinner the lovely – and single – Caitlin O’Hare as bait.
Cast
- 3 presenting as female
- 3 presenting as male
Actors for roles in this production will be selected on the basis of the demonstrated performance skills, regardless of their gender identity/expression, ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, age or disability.
Director
Tracy MartinoStage Manager
Kim LiPumaRehearsals
Rehearsals will be Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday evenings beginning on August 16, 2026.Location
All rehearsals and performances will be at Calliope Theatre, 150 Main Street, Boylston, MAPerformances
October 15, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 25 (Thu. – Sat. at 7:30 pm; Sundays at 2:00 pm)
Audition Dates
- Monday, July 20 from 6:30pm-9:00 pm
- Tuesday, July 21 from 6:30-9:00 pm
Auditions will consist of cold readings from the play.
Access the script for Over The River and Through the Woods.pdf
Auditionees will be expected to have read the script before auditioning.
Characters
Nick Cristano: The 29-year-old protagonist. He is a successful marketing executive living in New York City who has faithfully spent every Sunday having dinner with his grandparents. When he receives a huge promotion to move to Seattle, Washington, his life is upended by his family's desperate attempts to keep him local.
Frank Gianelli: Nick’s maternal grandfather in his 80s. He is deeply devoted to his family, enjoys his traditions, and is the primary orchestrator of the schemes to keep Nick in New Jersey.
Aida Gianelli: Nick’s maternal grandmother in her 70s. She is warm-hearted, values family unity above all else, and is famous for her massive, delicious home-cooked Italian meals.
Nunzio Cristano: Nick’s paternal grandfather in his 70s. He is boisterous, loves telling exaggerated stories about his life and marriage, and is heartbroken at the prospect of his grandson moving 2,800 miles away.
Emma Cristano: Nick’s paternal grandmother in her 70s. Described by Nick as one of the loudest people he knows, she is enthusiastic, deeply opinionated, and fiercely protective of her grandson's well-being.
Caitlin O'Hare: An attractive and charming woman in her late 20s. She is a nurse whom the grandparents secretly invite to Sunday dinner as “bait” to spark a romance with Nick, hoping that finding love will keep him from moving to Seattle.
